Greatest programming project took six days; on the seventh day the programmer rested. We've been trying to debug the damn thing ever since.
God is real - until declared integer.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Any given program, once running, is obsolete.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
Scott's second law: When an error has been detected and corrected, it will found to have been correct in the first place.
Finagles's third law: In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected; carefully planned projects only twice as long.
Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Meetings: After all is said and done, there's a lot more said than done.
You can never correct your work well until you have forgotten it. - Voltaire
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Management: When in darkness or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout.
Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Chisolm's Third Law, Corollary 1: If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, somebody will.
Skips Lament: Given any program containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.
Jones Motto: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
It's attitude, not aptitude, that determines altitude.
Boren's Law: When in doubt, mumble.
It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
Behind every argument is someones ignorance.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
Thinking is easy; action is difficult; to act in accordance with one's thoughts is the most difficult thing in the world. - Goethe
Short-cuts are the illusions of a tired mind.
A closed mind is like a tree which has stopped growing.
The wider you spread it the thinner it gets. - The law of Raspberry Jam
If Einstein's theories of time-space are correct, then all work may be both incomplete and complete.
The number of green traffic lights encountered in the course of travel is inversely proportional to the urgency of travel.
There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
Well done is better than well said. - Ben Franklin
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard boiled egg.
Most people don't want your advice. They want your support.
Swallowing angry words is much easier than having to eat them.
People with clenched fists cannot shake hands.
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
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